Welcome to the long anticipated post about my apartment. Actually this a two parter and I've written very little about my actual apartment. Be forewarned: This is a tale for the ages. You will probably sending your grandchildren podcasts about this in the future. Or your grandchildren will be Ipods and they will be sitting on your lap. Make up what you want, it's your future.
Let's begin.
Let's begin.
You may have looked at the title of this post and thought “Sarah you numbskull! You putz! You grammatical illiterate! You country bumpkin! What are you thinking?!”
I am not mollified by this sentiment. But I will let you know that it’s a pun. And the clue is hidden somewhere in this post. (It's hidden right here)
I moved to Detroit last summer and I think everyone will whole-heartedly agree that this is exactly where a young, talented, jet setting, lady-about-town should be spending her formative years. Before this I lived in New Hampshire (because I wanted to see what it was like to Live Free or Die). Before that I lived in Kalamazoo, which is where I left my gal. Before that, Nebulous West Michigan. And finally my mother's womb. Sorry.
Background information alert! Man the lifeboats! The swell is coming up from the starboard bow!
I am from the West (Best) side of Michigan; Detroit is in the South East. Some fans out there are probably shrugging their shoulders and going, "What's the difference? Michigan is just a glove shaped region and it's all the same to me."
Cap'in! She's not gonna make it! Release the sails! She's coming in full blast with Michigan facts!
Time for some education you ignorant dunk.
Awesome thing number #1. Michigan is mitten shaped. It's also made up of two huge peninsulas and some other tiny ones.Take that Toledo!
Awesomething #2. Michigan has some very distinct regions. East and West are only two of them.
Awesomething #3. Ever heard of the Great Lakes? If you continue to be ignorant about Michigan we will drown you.
When I decided to move to Motown I'm sure there was some collective head scratching. So not only was I moving to a new city, but I was moving to a new city from New England, which is quaint and picturesque.
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| Picturesque |
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| Quaint |
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| Giant Pumpkins |
I imagine that being quainter (according to spell check quainter is a word) than East St. Louis is not difficult to do. And not only was I moving to a new city from New England, only been to once, which happened to be Detroit, but I was moving to this newcityfromnewenglandnotneverbeenheredetroit BY MYSELF.
Just to make sure you’re paying attention:
New town+ not from here + never been here+Perceptions of Detroit+ alone.
Feel free to hit your collective mental freak out buttons now.
You may a little surprised that this was anxiety producing. If all of those factors were separate I would have been fine. I moved to New Hampshire without knowing anyone. I love being in large cities. But the compound interest of these things was bringing my already delicate plane of existence into a tailspin.
And as I mentioned before, I’m from West Michigan, which because of it’s proximity (being in Michigan, but no where near Fort Pontchartrain) to Detroit has special Detroit-bashing privileges.
And I am a weak young female. If I were an antelope I would be the first thing a lion would attack. I am not fit to live in the wild. So based on my perceptions and my WASPy West Michigan upbringing this was a really bold move.
And I am a weak young female. If I were an antelope I would be the first thing a lion would attack. I am not fit to live in the wild. So based on my perceptions and my WASPy West Michigan upbringing this was a really bold move.
My mom was probably the only person who was excited about this move. She lived here in the 70’s, when Detroit got its oh-so-cute-nickname: Murder City. But my mom is A LOT braver than I. She is the lion in the previous metaphor. Not that she’s stalking me and trying to kill me, but she could if she wanted.
My dad grew up in New York City. And I don’t know if many people know this, but NYC sucked in the 70’s. At least that’s what I’m told. But even he was afraid for me to live here and he grew up on the Lower East Side. New York is just better at faking it. New York can be the most dangerous, grittiest, drug fill cess-pool and people will still want to live there.
Other humans are usually not excited when I tell them that I live in the City of Detroit. I’ve seen fear in many a people’s eyes when I tell them where I live. I think my friend’s grandmother may have had a heart attack when I told her that. No joke, she clutched her chest and didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I'm surprised she didn't put swoon. (From fear, not romance)
Sometimes when I tell people that you actually live in Detroit (not the metro area) they say, in a voice dripping with a delightful mixture of pity and condescension, "I'm sorry." Then you have to get into a whole "I-chose-to-live-here-because-Detroit-isn't-going-to-get-better-until-talented-people-live-there-and-the-city-is-a-reflection-of-the-state-and-we-all-have-a-collective-responsibility", speech. I would prefer to shake people and yell at them and give them a taste of what they're so afraid of, but that's not okay in polite society.
Other humans are usually not excited when I tell them that I live in the City of Detroit. I’ve seen fear in many a people’s eyes when I tell them where I live. I think my friend’s grandmother may have had a heart attack when I told her that. No joke, she clutched her chest and didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I'm surprised she didn't put swoon. (From fear, not romance)
Sometimes when I tell people that you actually live in Detroit (not the metro area) they say, in a voice dripping with a delightful mixture of pity and condescension, "I'm sorry." Then you have to get into a whole "I-chose-to-live-here-because-Detroit-isn't-going-to-get-better-until-talented-people-live-there-and-the-city-is-a-reflection-of-the-state-and-we-all-have-a-collective-responsibility", speech. I would prefer to shake people and yell at them and give them a taste of what they're so afraid of, but that's not okay in polite society.
But I’m not going to go on about Detroit so much. I’m just trying to set up the context for what I really want to talk about. I will say that I love living here. While I would not sugar-coat what it's like, but it's not as terrible as you've been led to believe. Detroit has its issues, but it's certainly not dead, and it's certainly not hopeless. A 60 year decline is a big problem and the truly embarrassing thing is that we've let it happen. And what the city doesn't need is pity or negative messaging. To do so is nothing short of offensive and egregious.
If you’re interested in me gushing about the city I will, but until I get a specific request for that you can check out my friend’s blog: Lost in the Suburbs. Or you can check out my other friend's adventures in moving to our fair city: New Homeowner, Old Home.
If you’re interested in me gushing about the city I will, but until I get a specific request for that you can check out my friend’s blog: Lost in the Suburbs. Or you can check out my other friend's adventures in moving to our fair city: New Homeowner, Old Home.
Sorry for getting all serious on you folks, I had a momentary lapse in being un-funny. Stay tuned for part 2, the aptly named, Part 2.
